"I have come to view human psychology as the efficiency of one's functioning, and human spirituality as the dynamic process of love in one's life."
God isn't efficient in terms of economy or expediency, much preferring the costly and circuitous path. Yet God is efficient in terms of being effective - performing and functioning in the best possible manner. I like May's phrase, the dynamic process of love. It describes the Holy Spirit's actions in our lives. Not expedient by any means - but entirely effective!
I've stumbled on a new word. Numinous. As in, "pay attention to the numinous - that which surpasses comprehension - the supernaturally mysterious presence and activity of God." I used to describe my way of thinking on nearly all topics as nebulous. I don't work with a hard and fast grid that I fact check everything against. My knowledge and understanding hangs low and thick like a fog, full of sensation, but hard to nail down. At any moment the answer is within grasp. I've become adept at navigating this mental humidity, where it would drive others I know quite crazy.
In terms of faith and theology I was comfortable dwelling in the nebulous-ness of God and His truth, not being a dogmatic sort of fellow. But numinous is so much more appropriate word than nebulous for describing God, isn't it? It's not the nebulous fluff, the fuzzy, undefined-ness of God that I like; it is the mind stretching transcendent-ness of God that refuses to be pinned down or contained by particulars, and yet is actively working all things in each of us who are called according to His purpose. It is that part of Him that you know deep down is true and present and loving and active, but if someone asks you how you know, you can't quite give it adequate words.
Until now - NUMINOUS!
Much of Paul's "pray without ceasing" can be seen as dwelling with attention to the numinous. Much of spiritual direction can be seen as helping others pay attention to the numinous. Our inefficient numinous God so often goes unrecognized because we keep our eyes down, three feet ahead on the path so as not to stumble. We miss him entirely like we miss that brilliant sunset during the congested commute home after a particularly hard day.
Pay attention to the numinous!
